My Muse is a Serial Writer
Widows Have the Biggest Balls
Topic from Jennifer
Speaking of Widows . . .
One of my readers suggested I write about the “Widows Ball”. Having not heard of this I went to Google for answers. Before I hit the search button I took pause and thought about this. Maybe I don’t want to know what it is? I like what I am imagining much better. . .
So my first thought was, Is this a fancy therapy group session? Widows get dressed up and attend a ball as a way to reintroduce themselves into society or just as a way to let loose and have some fun after months of grieving?
Oh, better yet, this is a deadly group of Black Widows. I envision this group of sexy women, all dressed to kill, meeting in secret dark places at midnight. Here, they plot the deaths of their husbands. Once every few months they throw a “Widow’s Ball”. A gala event where they drag their newest
victims husbands out for a night of wine and dancing before they move in for the kill.
Then I found this: How To Throw a Widow’s Ball.
Seems it has nothing to do with actual Widows, nor is it sinister. A costume themed dinner party for Halloween. How have I not heard of this? This is right up my alley! It sounds like a great way to celebrate my favorite Holiday and have all my friends over for a spooky good time.
I’m thinking this through, what would I serve for cocktails? Would I serve a meal or just appetizers? Exciting plans for decorating are racing through my mind and I find that three weeks before Christmas I am already hyped for next year’s Halloween.
If I have such a party I would have to wear a dress. Because let’s face it, most of the Halloween costumes for women are 1.)dresses and 2.)
short slutty. At five feet tall I am lucky in that these costumes fall almost to my knees rather than leaving half of my ass hanging out as intended. That still leaves a good portion of my legs out for the world to see. I’d either have to wear fishnet stockings or I would have to shave my legs. Now this is just getting to be too much work.
We’ve all heard of “Movember”, where men do not shave for the entire month of November. Oh, they think they’re so clever. Men, we women have been doing this for centuries. Most of us don’t shave at all once Fall is here until the first day of Spring.
Listen, if I’m going to be wearing pants and stuck inside for nine months I am not shaving. Besides, it keeps my legs warm. The Artist is a Wookie so if I accidentally brush up against him in bed he doesn’t even notice. Sometimes it gets so bad that after a shower when I am applying lotion I will gross myself out and gag. (Yes, I know this is too much information and I’m ruining the illusion that I might have some class or be slightly attractive. I’m a writer, and I strive for the truth always.)
When I am disgusting to myself I know it is time to take care of the jungle on my legs, Winter or not. Usually by this time it is too much for a razor to handle and so out comes the Nair. If I already have the depilatory lotion smeared all over my gams I usually figure I might as well do my lady parts, too. This leads to a nice all over smoothness and a great night with a very surprised Artist.
Speaking of cats . . .